A Fable of the Very Fattest Man

 

A Fable of the Very Fattest Man

Once there was a very strong man who became very fat, the fattest man in the world, by eating others. This man simply did whatever he wanted, consumed whomever he desired, until he became so large he sat on a significant portion of the globe. The problem was, he could not move, since his tremendous size would not let him. Still, he had to eat to maintain his great size, despite the fact he could not longer track his prey, so he simply reached out and grabbed whomever he wished to consume.

“If you do not comply with my desires, I will sit on you and crush you,” he told the world, and they believed him.

Of course, no one wished to be sat upon by this continent-crushing being: they complied. Some simply sighed and allowed themselves to be plucked, chewed and swallowed without objection. Many did, in fact, and he remained fat and happy for a time.

Soon, however, very small and fast though insignificant creatures discovered they could dart in, take a bit of this delicious fattest man who ever lived and that he could do nothing about it, being fat and stolid and stuck in place as he was.

“I am fat and powerful, and I will forever be that way. It is wrong that you should harm me. What have I ever done to you but what I wanted to do, that is, eat you? And now you repay me by your bites? Soon we will see who has the biggest mouth, and you will all be dancing on the fire of my tongue!”

He swatted at the tiny creatures that mocked and bit him, and he never caught one.

The tiny bites continued until nothing was left of the very fattest man who every lived, not even his bones. He had been unable to recognize the dangers of small mouths.

All that is left of him today is a great indentation in the earth that has filled with water.

Small boats sail over its surface peacefully.