I recently ran into an old MAGA
friend of mine from high school. We used to race stock cars as teen-agers. He still drove as though he was in competition out on the highways, even though
he was over 70-years-old.
I like riding my electric bicycle
and suggested he might try it.
So of course the conversation
turned to climate change.
“Oh, so you’re one of those,” he
said, his face glowing red. “You’re one of those morons who believe cars are
hurting the planet from spewing out carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide. What an
idiot! What happened to you? You used to have some sense. I love my Cadillac
Escalade more than my life.”
“Well, I just look at the
scientific evidence that excess carbon within a closed ecological system raises
temperatures beyond a livable limit, as over ten thousand reputable scientists
have said after studying the issue. All the carbon we’re spewing out from out
cars, several hundred-million tons a day, is creating all these terrible
weather systems that we’ve never seen before and altering ocean currents by
raising temperatures of the water. We’ve probably already gone beyond the point
of no return.”
“Nonsense! I can prove you’re
wrong. Carbon never hurt anyone. Life itself is carbon-based.”
“Well, okay, tell me how you’re
going to prove wrong all those scientists and the observable evidence.”
A slick smile crossed his face.
“What I’m going to do is take my
big old wonderful Cadillac Escalade home.”
“And?”
“Then I’m going to park it in my
garage with the motor running. I’m going to close all the windows and doors and
just sit there on my thick, plush, leather seat while all the “harmful” carbon
monoxide and carbon dioxide pump out of the exhaust and fills the garage. There
won’t be any tornadoes or floods inside the garage, and the next time I see
you, I’m going to have a big smile on my face because I proved you wrong.”
“No! Buddy, don’t do it!”
“Why? Are you afraid of being
proved wrong?”
“No, I just don’t want to see you
or anybody else die from carbon – ”
“Oh, there we go with that baloney
that carbon kills people. It’s a fallacy! Climate change is a scam to make
liberals rich!’
“How on earth does believing in
climate change make liberals rich?”
“That’s it! Climate change is not
real! You’re an idiot and I’m going to prove it to you right now!”
With that he drove off in his big
shiny Cadillac Escalade.”
“You’ll see!” he screamed out the
window as he drove away.
I never saw him again. At first
his death was ruled a suicide, but after the police found a note on his
dashboard exclaiming that “Climate change is a liberal plot!” his unfortunate
and avoidable passing was attributed to pure stupidity.