I recently ran into an old MAGA friend of mine from high school. We used to race stock cars as teen-agers. He still drove as though he was in competition out on the highways, even though he was over 70-years-old.
I like riding my electric bicycle and suggested he might try it.
So of course the conversation turned to climate change.
“Oh, so you’re one of those,” he said, his face glowing red. “You’re one of those morons who believe cars are hurting the planet from spewing out carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide. What an idiot! What happened to you? You used to have some sense. I love my Cadillac Escalade more than my life.”
“Well, I just look at the scientific evidence that excess carbon within a closed ecological system raises temperatures beyond a livable limit, as over ten thousand reputable scientists have said after studying the issue. All the carbon we’re spewing out from out cars, several hundred-million tons a day, is creating all these terrible weather systems that we’ve never seen before and altering ocean currents by raising temperatures of the water. We’ve probably already gone beyond the point of no return.”
“Nonsense! I can prove you’re wrong. Carbon never hurt anyone. Life itself is carbon-based.”
“Well, okay, tell me how you’re going to prove wrong all those scientists and the observable evidence.”
A slick smile crossed his face.
“What I’m going to do is take my big old wonderful Cadillac Escalade home.”
“And?”
“Then I’m going to park it in my garage with the motor running. I’m going to close all the windows and doors and just sit there on my thick, plush, leather seat while all the “harmful” carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide pump out of the exhaust and fills the garage. There won’t be any tornadoes or floods inside the garage, and the next time I see you, I’m going to have a big smile on my face because I proved you wrong.”
“No! Buddy, don’t do it!”
“Why? Are you afraid of being proved wrong?”
“No, I just don’t want to see you or anybody else die from carbon – ”
“Oh, there we go with that baloney that carbon kills people. It’s a fallacy! Climate change is a scam to make liberals rich!’
“How on earth does believing in climate change make liberals rich?”
“That’s it! Climate change is not real! You’re an idiot and I’m going to prove it to you right now!”
With that he drove off in his big shiny Cadillac Escalade.”
“You’ll see!” he screamed out the window as he drove away.
I never saw him again. At first his death was ruled a suicide, but after the police found a note on his dashboard exclaiming that “Climate change is a liberal plot!” his unfortunate and avoidable passing was attributed to pure stupidity.
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